♥Daily Diary♥


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05/05 08/05 09/05 10/05 16/05 17/05 24/05 29/05 31/05 07/06 08/06 20/06 30/07 05/08 08/08 18/08
30/08 16/09


Monday 16th September, 2019

Dear Diary...
I felt like I should update at some point
This diary is becoming more of a bi-weekly diary rather than daily whoops!
I suppose I don't have anything that interesting to talk about.

The last interesting thing I did was my meetup I mentioned before.
I only managed to get rid of my black cameron headband and a pair of socks haha.
I think my Meta sailor set will just live in the back of my wardrobe forever
Oh and my coord,

Nothing special of course, but I got to wear my new cannotier
Oh and the girl that sold it to me was unexpectedly at the meet!
She was selling a super cute Putumayo skirt, but it was so tiny I didn't get it.
I instead got this:

A Victorian Maiden Rococo Bouquet Hand Towel
OK, it's not clothing but I like these novelty kind of things
And I love Rococo Bouquet
Since I don't think I can fit into VM I figured this would be a nice compromise haha.

And as you can see I've been updating my site
I'm trying to get through uploading the pictures for my wardrobe.
And I added some lyrics,
And updated my links page. I finally got round to adding more brand sites.
The problem is linking sites is not a thing anymore so I had to go back in the archive to get the banners.

Hm, what else?
I'm going back to uni soon.
I don't want to think about it, but still, I am revising in advance
I forgot how to write loads of kanji.
But I've never been too good at remembering them.
Luckily? I have a good short term memory, so at least I can remember them for exams

Anyways, that's all for today.
I would like to go to a museum sometime soon, so at least I'll have something to write about.

Friday 30th August, 2019

Dear Diary...
It's been a while.
I've been meaning to write for a while actually.
So I'll try to remember what's been going on.
I should write more often so I don't forget.

I'm still keeping up with running.
In fact I run at 7am, so I wake up at 6:30am.
It's a big deal for someone that doesn't like getting up before 10am.
But it's okay. When you run don't think about being sleepy.
As I said I should write about my trials and tribulations in the diet section of my site.
I can't remember everything but..I'll try to write there.

Oh, and Tuesday was Hatari's gig.
It ended up being 32 degrees that day.
Here is my coord.

I wanted to wear coord suitable for a rock concert.
But still keep it cute.

I wore falsies too. They look surprisingly good even without circle lens.
I want some new circle lens, but right now I'm kind of content with my small eyes.

Overall the gig was great! But I was not...
My blood pressure acted up and I pretty much collapsed.
It was really scary.
If you wanna know all about it I've written a report about it all, and I will link it here when I publish it.
I will get a blood test soon.
I've known I've not been well for a while, but I've been too scared to face it.
This was my wake up call, I guess.

Tomorrow I have meet up.
My straw hat will make it's debut.
I also have the opportunity to sell some stuff.
But I won't buy anything..

Luckily, my student loan will come next month.
Can't believe I'll be back to uni soon.
I changed my major a bit, so I'm kind of excited?
What I'm studying sounds really fancy and impressive haha.
I am going to prepare in advance this time around!
I'll try, at least.

Sunday 18th August, 2019

Dear Diary...
I can't believe I haven't written in my diary for so long
I have been checking Neocities but I've had nothing to write.
But I felt like at the very least I should update my blog regularly.
But nothing has really happened this week, as far as I can remember.

I went running today.
My mother has been doing the Couch to 5k thing and ran a 5k marathon this summer.
She's been doing really well, and it's good for weight maitenence.
So she invited me to start running with her.
I have tried to do this sort of running thing once or twice, but due to unwated comments from men during running alone, I've been too scarred to go again.
So it's better that I can go with someone else now.

It's my first try, so I found it really hard.
I kind of wanted to quit.
But you can't just stop right? It doesn't make sense..
It's tough, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it.
It's for 9 weeks, so I'll have to stick with it.
I'm just envisioning myself wearing Mode Girl this Christmas.

So I won't weigh myself, I think. Just take measurements.
So that's that. I said I wanted to make use of the diet section of my writing page, so I can write about running there.
Oh and I gotta start counting calories again.

Hatari gig is next week!
Ah the shirt I wanted is sold out so I will have to get the less nice one.
I really should buy it today so hopefully it'll arrive on time.

Oh yeah I've been playing New Style Boutique again
I'm having a lot of fun! I need to add more pictures I took.
And maybe add some lyrics. I'm in perpetual writer's block these days though.
I'd usually say goodnight here, but it's actually the afternoon,
So goodbye!

Thursday 8th August, 2019

Dear Diary...
I'm so tired right now.
I went out briefly to buy some things.

My coord today which I wanted to be simple.
I usually wear this dress around the house because it's comfy and the sleeves make it hard to wear in unsuitable weather.
In fact, it was a bit hot because it's cotton.

I met a somewhat former lolita who was selling some stuff.
So, I got this BABY straw cannotier and Meta socks.
I've wanted either a straw mini hat or a normal straw hat with ribbon ties, so this is a happy medium.
Also I really like the meta socks, even though my calves are too big so the letters warp. Boo.
The hat is cute though, perfect for summer. I just need to clean the ties and try to flatten the lace.

I will wear it to this month's meet.
I wasn't going to go, but I've decided on some things I want to sell.
My BABY Cameron headbands that I NEVER wear so have no need to hold on to,
My pink Meta skirt which even when I lose weight so it's comfy, is always going to be too short,
And my Meta sailor set that I don't even have on my wardrobe page!
The skirt is a least less than 40cm long.
There's no point holding onto things I never wear or will wear.

On the way home, I noticed this magazine at the train station so of course I picked up a copy.

I feel like 'cute' is never really talked about, and I was surprised that apparently 'cuteness' is such a big deal here.
Personally I don't think cute is popular here.
Of course they mentioned Japan, home of kawaii.
And of course, they mentioned lolita fashion.
In a non-biased, fully researched way?
Of course not! When has lolita ever been represented in a positive way by Western media?
The article doesn't even mention the origins but suggests it's worn as backlash against strong women.
Even though I have no expectations for good representation in the media, and I wish rather, that they'd leave us alone, it quite frankly annoyed me.
I don't want to go off on some sort of defense about lolita because it will never be understood or accepted,
But, I'd just like to point out that wearing cute clothes doesn't make me weak.
Wearing a business suit doesn't make me intelligent.
And wearing a revealing bodycon dress doesn't make me a slut.
I can wear what I want, and I can like what I like!

In other news, I've almost sorted out my uni stuff.
Looks like it'll take 2 years rather than 1 to graduate.
But that's what I get for dropping 2 classes last time.
I really have to get myself together
I can do it!

Oh and a selfie! Thank you for 20k views!
I hope to make this site better and better

Monday 5th August, 2019

Dear Diary...

Nothing much has been going on recently
I've been having a very dull and quite dreary time recently.
I might have caught a cold today too.
But I thought I might as well write something today.

I went shopping on Saturday.
Just the usual. I might go clothes shopping with my mum soon.
I don't have interest in fast fashion much, anymore, but I could use some cardigans and tops that I can wear casually.
Oh here's my outfit too.

I wore my BABY blouse with my TOPSHOP pinafore dress.
I wear this dress a ton, it's comfy and long and suits any weather.
I usually like to wear it most in autumn/winter with a polo neck jumper.
Oh yeah, I made a page for my normal clothes wardrobe a while back.
Or rather some of my interesting clothes.

Today I ran some errands but spent so long deciding what to wear I didn't bother go to central.
I always take forever. I decided what I wanted to wear last night then almost tried on my whole wardrobe this morning.
I ended up wear gingham cherry.

Just something simple.
I've been searching for the hat that goes with this dress and I missed it a while ago on Closet Child.
Worst feels. I know it'll come around again, but I really bought the dress because I like the hat so much.
I have the headbow but it's a bit too big for casual wear.
Oh well.

I wanted to write about my diet in the writing section of my site.
I haven't been on my diet properly for ages, and it sucks.
I was terrified to, but I weighed myself this morning.
And to my abosulte surprise I'm at my lowest weight since I started my diet.
I thought I would have gained at least 2kg for sure.
So I think I will try to go back on my diet from now.
I still want to lose 7kg.
I really want to wear Mode Girl. And I decided that if I don't lose the weight by the end of Winter then I'll sell the dress.
It's more depressing to own something so beautiful if I can't even zip it up.
I figured if I put an ultimatum on it, I will be able to try harder.
So I was thinking to update something about my diet weekly.
But I don't want to write my weight.

I'll figure something out later.
I have so much more on plate to deal with right now!
I'm super tired.

Tuesday 30th July, 2019

Dear Diary...
Wow it's been so so long.
Far far too long, right?
I've just not had time or motivation to update my site.
In fact I was feeling a bit burned out doing Neocities.
So I took a break.
But my laptop is reaching it's final days which encouraged my to come before it legitmately dies.
My trackpad is dead officially.
But I'm glad it's all still working at least.

Last time I was updating my write up about Paris, but I didn't finish oops.
Can I even remember what happened?
I didn't even write about the most important thing
Angelic Pretty Paris!
I will try to finish writing it soon.

What else?
I've been pretty up and down recently.
I think I'm just bored.
I'm going back to uni this autumn so I should be studying.
But I don't feel like doing anything.

As for this site, I really want to complete my wardrobe page.
At least I should upload all the pictures of my dresses.
I'm too 'my pace'.

Well I will try to update bit by bit from now.
See you

Thursday 20th June, 2019

Dear Diary...
Wow, it's been a while since I've written here.
Nothing much has been going on. I added some stuff to my site a while ago, if you check the homepage.

I'm going away tomorrow for my birthday weekend.
I'm going to Paris.
I can finally visit a brand store.
I absolutely plan to get a black parasol.
Too bad Angelic Pretty isn't like my fave brand.
Not even their accessories tempt me.
But I'll be happy to look at new stuff in the shop.
Maybe I will like something.
I plan to go to as many museums as possible.
I love museums.. I can't wait to go to Louvre.
Gosh, it's going to be absolutely sweltering.
How is Paris so hot compared to London when we're so close!

I talked to J finally yesterday.
It was so great.
He likes me a lot.
It's quite hard to accept that.
Because he's so gorgeous..!
I'll definitely try to see him by the end of the year.

I didn't even write in my diary to talk about how excited I am that Hatari are coming to London!
I'm going to see them in August.
I'm super excited!

I wrote a new song today after a long time.
I'm feeling good.
I will try to take lots of pictures in France.
See you later!

Saturday 8th June, 2019

Dear Diary...
Today I went to the museum.
I didn't know what to wear so ended up like this.

It was quite hard to get a pic of this dress, my petti is too short so it hasn't got a great shape.
But I just wanted to have relaxing day so I felt a bit casual today.
I wore ballet flats too *calls the lolita police*

I went to the Wallace Collection, my favourite museum.
It's basically has only (?) Rococo era art and furniture.
So it's like a dreamworld to me.
I always feel so floaty and light after going around that museum.
I love the extravagance and frivolousness of the Rococo era.
I feel like wearing lolita is like that, it's kind of ornamental because of its beauty.

I have a ton of pictures from various visits.
I was going to upload them in my gallery sometime.
Here's some I liked today.

The last one very much fits with the theme 'how to become an angel' haha.

I also went to pick up some stuff from the Japanese supermarket.
I really wanted mentaiko pasta sauce but they had none...
An old Japanese lady exclaimed to me あら!かわいい! when she came into the same aisle haha.
I'm surprised to spoken to in Japanese. I was caught off guard but did manage a thank you.
Also I happened to bump into my friend who was also in lolita aha.
It's extremely rare to see another lolita in the wild lol.
Whenever I go out I hope to see some interestingly dressed people.
I did see a woman in trousers that were like, the American flag, so that was... pretty interesting.
I do see some trendy boys and girls sometimes.
I wish there were more alternative people around.

Anyways I'm tired.
I might put up a new lyric or two.
Oh yeah, I should text J like I said yesterday..
Oh, but I don't want to get in touch with my emotions right now!

Friday 7th June, 2019

Dear Diary...
I'm tired but I wanted to write something today.
I've been doing some stuff to my site the past few days - finally.
I embarked on the mission of taking pictures of my wardrobe.
It took ages and I suck at pictures, but I think they came out okay
I'm adding pages for close up shots and such, so it's gonna take a while to finish.
Not to mention I need to get pics of accessories and stuff too.

Looking at my clothes makes me feel happy.
Like I just want to wear them and go out straight away.
I guess I can appreciate them more, when they're not squashed in my tiny wardrobe.
I want a job, so I can buy new dresses.
Still, I need to save up to go to Japan.
That's my priority. Or it should be.
I just love dresses too much.

A Seiko Matsuda song just came on.
Why do I suddenly feel so emotional?
I'm always so moved by her voice..
Music transcends language.
I love it.

I wish I had some real talent.
I'm uploading more lyrics too these days.
Art is art right?
Even if I feel stupid, it's still something right?
I haven't written in months...
I feel like I want to write to music, but I don't play anything.
I will be able to one day, though.

I haven't talked to J in 2 weeks.
I told him not to call me last time we talked.
Well, it was kinda his fault...
That time I was thinking, my life was simpler without needing to think about a boy.
I was happy enough to be alone, thinking I'd be alone forever.
I thought it'd be like that anyways.
It's always been like that, I've always had my hobbies.
I didn't need anyone.

I'm turning 22 soon.
I'm literally an adult.
And things are changing.
I do want something more now.
For the first time, I want someone.
I know it sounds crazy, I've gone through my whole youth alone.
But I was fine like that.
Life is complicated!

I won't be stubborn.
I'll text him.

Friday 31st May, 2019

Dear Diary...
Today I ran some errands.

I forgot how pretty this dress is.
Oh yeah, my hair combs came yesterday.
I was on the fence about hair combs (the price mostly) but they're great!
They are bigger than I thought they would be.
Now I would like to collect more.

Weird storytime.
From time to time you will meet strange people whilst wearing lolita..
So, I was in a shop and some man was clearly calling to get my attention.
I had my headphones on as usual so did not really react for a while.
I noticed him and he complimented my coord so I said thanks, of course.
Usually I don't get people talking to me when I'm out and about alone.
So I'm usually quite flustered when it comes to receiving compliments.

I thought this interaction might be over, but he asked where my dress was from.
So I said 'the internet' like a bit of a numpty. But he seemed satisfied enough with that answer.
Then he goes, 'you look like a...' (baited breath) 'doll!'.
'Oh thanks!' that's nice I thought. Now I can go back to shopping...
Errr.. wha.
'Blondes are OvErRaTeD!!' (and stuff like that)
'White girls are old news!! We need more Black queens like you!!!' (or something like that)
Also note, this guy was White.
He seemed to be completely unaware of how awkward the situation was, as I'm pretending to look at an item so he'll go away.
His final words are 'You're great to look at' as he walks out of sight (thank God)

It was absolutely bizzare.
Honeslty I felt completely embarrassed.
Having a stranger inadvertedly announce their fetish, to your face.
Maybe it was a case of spilling spaghetti, but it was creepy anyways.
Once he fixated on my race I knew it would all go downhill from there.
I don't know if he was expecting me to feel elated that he thinks white girls aren't all that great.
It was just embarrassing and unnecessary.
Also the assumption that I'm straight up from Africa was just cringe..
Instead of the 'But where are you REALLY from?' thing it was the 'You're DEFINITELY from ...' thing.

In conclusion, some things are better kept to yourself.
Compliments are nice of course, but just keep it simple.
But most preferably, headphones in might suggest that I don't want to talk.
Speaking of, those people that are always trying to get you to donate to something ALWAYS target me.
I literally would be walking off the pavement into the street to avoid them and they won't give up.
I'm broke sir.
I'm like Marie Antoinette, like the fancy clothes and that.

I have to wake up early for the meet tomorrow anyways.
I've been writing so long.

Wednesday 29th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
I have nothing much to write today, I think.
Nothing much has been going on recently.
I went shopping recently.
Here's my coord, I also updated my EGL wardrobe too btw.

It was so hot that day, I wanted to wear a skirt.
I don't wear this skirt out much since I have nothing to coord it with.
So it's kinda mismatched. But I like it.
I wanted to find a colourful 60s dress, but no luck, as usual.
I found some cute dresses but they all had some sort of fit issue.

It's International Lolita Day on Saturday.
It's my 3rd year technically.
Time flies. Money disappears.
Speaking of, I got a customs charge on my bloomers.
I haven't shopped online for so long, I forgot about that happening.
I'm hoping some hair combs I bought arrive by Saturday.
They seem to have arrived in the country but have fallen off the radar.
If it's customs charge I'm screwed.

May is already ending.
I'll be going to Paris for my birthday weekend.
I'll be able to take my pilgrimage to Angelic Pretty.
I really would like to buy a black parasol.
I wanted a BABY one, but AP would do too.

I want to take some time to do stuff on site again sometime.
I don't know if I'll have time for the next few days.
We'll see.
I'm so tired now.
I've been sleeping pretty late again.

Friday 24th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
I know it's been a week, but I've had nothing to write really.
I haven't been on the computer much actually.

Here is my coord from my meet last week by the way.

I like how this picture came out.
I didn't wear my ringlet wig, I decided on the day.
I thought straight hair would suit it better.
I wanted to write about the meet in a more appropriate place on my site.
So I will do that soon.

Oh, I feel like my diet is in a shambles these days.
I have been not weighing myself much this week.
And exercising has felt so boring.
But I will try to focus again next week.
As I am not being as diligent, I'm slowing down progress a lot.

I want to write about Eurovision in the writings side of my site.
I really really like Hatari now.
I want to write about them too.
I very rarely fangirl over any group or person.
But I want to see this group live on day.

Anyways that's all for now, I think.
I need to get my thoughts in order.
I will write some stuff soon.

Friday 17th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
Good evening.
I feel a bit better today.
I should go to sleep after writing.
I was thinking of doing something to my site but idk it's getting late.

I didn't weigh myself today.
I feel like I want to avoid it all week.
Not that it matters I guess..
I still have a way to go.
I'm now at the start of month 3 of my diet.
I've lost 3.5kg so far.
I guess I'm happy.
I know you can pretty much lose more than that in one month though.
But I guess I can try harder to lose 2kg each month.
I want to lose 10kg maybe so that's 5 months.
I can do it

I have a new steamer so I can steam my clothes again.
Oh and my Mam dress came.
I love the shade of pink.
It's surprisingly thin though.
I need to take pictures for my wardrobe page.

I started making a babushka scarf.
It's my first time making something so it's pretty basic..
I want to wear it with my Meta biscuit OP.
Since I can't find anything to wear with it.

I'm so tired..as usual..
My meetup is tomorrow, so I should sleep.
I want to take lots of pictures.
Usually I don't take many.
I want to write event reports on my lolita page.
Sorry, I rambled a lot today.

Thursday 16th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
Wow it's been almost a week.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to abandon my site or anything.
I've just been too sad to come online.
I've been feeling so overwhelmed.
I'm the type of person to stress over the little things.
I don't know how to make myself feel better.
I'm sleeping badly again.
And I'm overeating.
I'm in a bad cycle again.
But I really have to snap out of it.
I'm so down in the dumps.
I hate it!

Well, I hope all is well whoever you are, wherever you are.
I'll come back to my site sometime later.

Friday 10th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
Good evening, I'm so tired.
I think I had a productive day!
I didn't go to the museum or anything, I decided to run errands.
I had to buy some stuff to prepare for my next meetup.
I read the trick to getting the shiny look out of synthetic wigs is dry shampoo.
And it works actually. My ringlet wig is considerably less shiny.
I also got some glue to stick down my Meta maid headband.
It started coming off on the sides.

I got ID'd for the glue and was suddenly confused.
Sometimes I forget I'm 21.
And my birthday's next month.
Do you ever get that feeling?
That you can't believe that you're the age you are.
I remember when I was 16 I asked my mum,
Will I change a lot by the time I'm 18?
I didn't believe I would change much in 2 years.
I don't know if I did, but I kept a diary at 16.
And I guess I was still kinda dumb.
I thought I'd change when I turned 17.
Well, my personality's the same, but I'm more mature for sure.
I know early 20s are meant to be super fun and crazy.
But I am having a more quiet youth.
I can't wait til I'm in my 30s.
When I won't be expected to act crazy.

I bought fake eyelashes today.
I decided, I'm going to learn how to put them on!
I've definitely tried fake eyelashes throughout my teenagehood.
But I never really learnt how to do it.
And I thought my eyes are too small for them.
But I guess I was always picking the wrong shape.
I tried something different this time, and it looked really nice!
And somehow I stuck them on well!
I think this is just what I need to elevate my makeup.
I'll practise again next week.

Then I've been planning other coords.
I've decided what I would like to wear for the old school meet.
And kind of for International Lolita Day.
But I kind of need to buy stuff for it.

Anyways it's coming up to midnight.
I'm too tired to stay up.
I didn't have time to do anything to my site today.
Oh, and I hit 10k hits.
I'm sure my constant editing contributed a ton to that aha.
But thank you for coming by anyways.
I hope you enjoy my site.


Thursday 9th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
I've been doing a lot on my site this evening.
I think I've changed every background now.
Every page should be different, I think.
It's different to before, but I like it.

Finally, I bought some new bloomers.
I got some BABY torchon lace ones, I wanted some desperately.
Bloomers can be expensive, but I think they're worth it.
I also snagged a Mam JSK that was super cheap!
I was super happy.
I haven't bought lolita since last year.
All I need is a new longer petti and a black parasol.
I'm eyeing Maxicimam parasols but shipping costs kill me.
Especially if it gets caught by customs.

Oh, and horrible news.
I will be missing Eurovision this year.
My meetup will end up being later than planned, so I can't watch it live.
It's one of the highlights of my year, so I'm sad.
I should just try to enjoy myself anyways..
At least I can watch the semi finals.
But I must not get spoiled at all.

I might go out tomorrow.
If I sleep well enough.
I have some things to buy.
And maybe I can go to the museum..
If I feel like it.
Since I bought new stuff I feel like wearing lolita.

It's late.

Wednesday 8th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
I'm writing before I feel too tired to.
I should go to sleep after this really, but I wanted to do more to my site.
I'm adding nicer backgrounds to my site.
I realised all the pages looking the same is too dull maybe.
But I can't decide on one background.
So I'm doing every page differently depending on what I like.
The site's already in construction and there's many pages still in the old layout.
So changes will come whenever spot something old.

I found cute graphics today.
Like this.
I like these sort of things, but I'm usually too lazy to use them.
But I think it's nicer to have something colourful.
So I'll use them when I have time.

In Animal Crossing I've had a bit of luck with furniture.
Chops put his Rococo sofa up for sale at re-tail.
And Gabi gave me a regal table.
And there was a lovely kitchen at TIY.
Usually I can't find any series I want.
I want to add outfit images to my ACNL page!
Since I really like hoarding clothes...

I don't know what else to write.
I feel like if I write everything on my mind it'll be too long.
That's why I need to make my random thoughts page soon.
So I can write whenever something pops into my head.
And I can write more of my inner thoughts.

It's late but I'm having hot chocolate.
I'm going to read some baking recipe books.
One summer I just spent it baking from recipe books for fun.
And I want to do that again this year.
So I want to decide what to make.

I think I might add more info on my about page.
I've been planning to do that for ages.
I get distracted easily.

Sunday 5th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
Good evening, I'm up late.
I just spent forever styling my ringlet wig.
I had abandoned it for at least a year thinking it did not suit me.
But I decided I will wear it to my upcoming meet.
Since the theme is OTT, I think a ringlet wig screams OTT for me.
It's not something I'd usually wear so it's nice to mix things up a bit.
I will wear my IW OP so of course I'm going in a maid coord.
I have an excuse to wear my Meta maid headband which really can only be suited for a maid coord.
I just want to figure out makeup now.
I want to try something different.

I cleaned my room today and I feel a lot better.
I'm still feeling a little wary from my nightmare the other night.
So I wanted to be productive today, just to raise my mood a little.
Before I went to bed last night I drew what I saw in my nightmare, to try to understand it a bit more
But I could not understand why it scared me.
But at least drawing it and writing about it made me feel a little less anxious.
I'll totally forget about it in a few days.

I need to update my Animal Crossing page tomorrow.
Chops is leaving.
I feel like he just moved in lol.
Oh and I have Friga now.
I rennovated my town hall to be the fairytale type now.
And I added a back room to my house.
I feel like the fully expanded rooms are just too big.
My main room and 1st floor room are fully expanded.
But I think I wont fully do the others..
My left room is just too cozy.
Although I feel like the one point of the game is too fully pay off the loan.
Maybe I should just expand then make another character.
I was thinking to make another character at some point in the future.
There are more series I want to collect.

Anyways I will stop writing.
I go to bed around 11pm these days.
I actually have been able to fall asleep by counting sheep.
I think my issue is that my mind never stops racing.
So now I can just focus on one thing.
Anyways, it's midnight now.

Saturday 4th May, 2019

Dear Diary...
I haven't written in a while.
I've been going to bed early, so I haven't had time.
Also I think I've burnt myself out on the internet.
Too much Netflix.
I just wanted to get off the computer for a while.
So I haven't touched my site in a while.

I've been feeling so bored.
But I lack concentration to read.
Hmm nothing stirs me these days.

Ugh, I had a terrible dream last night.
I did not think of it as a nightmare until I woke up.
I wouldn't call it gory, but just visually digusting.
And everytime I remember it I get uncontrollable goosegumps.
I won't write any more about it because I'll remember it if I read this again.

I ate so much today.
Ah, I'm not even interested to write about my diet.
I really am just so bored all of a sudden.
And I'm too jittery to write now.
I'll try to go to sleep now.

Tuesday 30th April, 2019

Dear Diary...
Today I went out.
I actually saw some job postings for some vintage clothing shops online.
So I wanted to look at the shops.
But when I got there they were gone anyways.
So I just did some window shopping.
I wore Detective Poodle.

Usually I style it with pink.
But today I went neutral.
I usually wear a headdress, but I like it with a beret a lot.
It was a nice mild day, a little breezy.
Perfect for me, because I get hot easily with lots of layers.
I carried my parasol by habit even though it would be too cold in the shade.

I bought a new beret.

I've been wanting one like this!
This colour goes really well with baby blue.
I saw an adorable dress and an apron in a shop.
But the dress was like £85 and the apron was £45..
I don't even spend £85 on a Lolita dress.
Oh well, if I had some spare cash I'd have bought it.
It's not everyday I find something cute in a vintage shop.
In that shop a girl complimented my coord and said she'd just come back from Tokyo.

In a more 'cool' vintage shop that I did not suit at all, I found some cute skirts.
Even though they are my usual size the waist was too big.
It's usually like that.
But I do have a lot less chubbiness on my stomach now so it's too noticeable.
Even though it's only been a month and a half on my diet.
It's nice looking back at my chart and seeing how far I've come.

I went out to water my rose and there's a dead mouse right in the pathway.
Maybe my cat killed it but she usually tries to bring mice in at the door.
And really it might have been there a while..
I didn't even notice it when I went out and when I turned to go back I nearly stepped on it.
I will tackle it tomorrow.
Of course I'm hoping another cat takes it away somewhere tonight.

Monday 29th April, 2019

Dear Diary...
I got my new Macoto book today.

It's so pretty.
It's smaller than the other one I have which makes it easier to hold.
I really like this one, it's separated into different themes.
Not just focusing on princesses and fairy tales.
He has drawn an African girl in this book.
Since his drawings are almost all blonde European girls I was happily surprised.
He clearly studies clothing and hair very hard to make it accurate.
So I think he could do any type of girl.
Also his traditional Japanese girls are pretty too.
Also there's lots of tidbits that he wrote about his drawings.
I am always moved reading he has been drawing these girls for over 60 years.

I have a perfect town in Animal Crossing now.
It's the first time, because I never really cared about that sort of thing.
And I have the police box.
Someone new will move in tomorrow.

I fell asleep early last night.
It was nice.
I just had to chug my hot chocolate.
I forgot about it.
I swear, it cools down quicker these days.

Friday 26th April, 2019

Dear Diary...
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of my site!
But I couldn't write or update anything because I had a bad stomach ache.
I had undercooked my turkey rashers in the morning for sure.
I only had one slice so I don't know how it made me feel so ill.

I still exercised though, it was challenging.
There are different sections in my workout dvd.
And so I did the only part I hadn't challenged yet.
I thought first dancing section was hard, but this was another level.
It's all that jumping.
I had to pause in between to catch my breath.
But I did the whole section.
I don't know if I can say that it's fun.
But I always feel a bit excited to do it at first.
Then I hate it while doing it.
"You won't even feel your heart rate rising because it's dancing!"
The peppy lady says with an unwavering smile on her face.
No, I notice all right!

Since I was feeling ill, I watched Kamikaze Girls after a long time to cheer up.
I especially love the opening.
And I always cry at Ichigo's backstory.
Also, I never noticed before that Momoko wears Meta in the movie!
When she's embroidering the Baby dress, she's wearing Meta's Music Note JSK.

I was thinking of watch The Love Witch tonight.
But now I feel a little sleepy.
I almost suddenly fell asleep at 6pm.
It's that really uncomfortable heavy feeling I get when I just can't stay awake.

Anyways that's all for today.
Tomorrow will probably be a lazy day.
I'm waiting for a Macoto Takahashi book in the mail.

Wednesday 24th April, 2019

Dear Diary...
Another revelation was made today.
I worked out why my favicon wasn't working.
I forgot the / thing in the image source..
So if it looks like I'm updating things it's probably the favicon.

I'm done with the site today anyways.
I added new pages and moved some things aorund.
Adding the sidebar is still in progress.
I'm still thinking of how to make my site look nice.
Maybe I need a header..

It's much earlier than usual but I'm sleepy.
I just want to play Animal Crossing and read this evening.
I slept through the night yesterday, though.
I sound like a baby lol.
Hopefully I can fall asleep quicker tonight though.

Somehow I lost 0.5kg today.
Especially as I had written about yesterday's endless snacking.
I know that what you eat the day before is not the sole factor for the next day's weight.
I'm sure I will gain some back tomorrow.
But it's the lowest since I started.
So that's quite encouraging.
I got a yoga mat so I can do the core exercise part of my workout dvd.
God, it really kicked my butt.
I can't even do push ups.
But I'll keep at it.
I'm excited to become fit.

I'm looking at my Mode Girl OP.
I really want to fit in it this winter.
It's literally the perfect length, even the perfect sleeve length.
But alas, it does not stretch an inch.
I've had this dress for 2 years.
Now I'm finally doing something about it.

I wrote a lot as usual.
I don't know if people would rather read long or short entries.
I guess they are both interesting.
I will be adding a page for random thoughts.
So I can just write about random things or topics that cross my mind.
I think you'll learn a lot more about me.
Other than me being an insomniac.

Tuesday 23rd April, 2019

Dear Diary...
I've cracked the code.
It's another case of my making silly mistakes.
I had an extra { thing in the style thing.
So nothing worked properly yesterday.
I'm quite chuffed I found it.

So my site is fully in construction mode now.
I'm changing my menu icons.
And I had to make a few new ones so things like games are easier to find.
So for now things are all over the place.
I'm not sure whether to keep the sidebar transparent or not.
I left my about page with a pink sidebar so I can mull over it tomorrow.

I barely slept last night.
When I'm super tired, it's like my diet goes out of the window.
I just want to snack.
So that's why at the very least I stress about sleep.

Cyrano is leaving my AC town.
Actually I'm glad because his house is in the way..
But, I've never been too bothered about townies.
Actually I'd rather try to have every villager live in my town once.
I caught a bee today.
I had good luck so apparently they move slower.
I don't think I ever caught one in Wild World so I'm happy.

Monday 22nd April, 2019

Dear Diary...
As you can tell I've been faffing around with my website.
It looks like I've been updating a million times,
But I'm just experimenting.
I'm not sure I'm changing my icons or not really.
I added a scroll bar on my hompage and diary.
Now you can just scroll though my diary on one page.
I think it will be useful.

I'm probably not going to be able to make my site how I'd love it to look.
But for now I'm content.
It's a work in progress.
Please understand.

I added my Animal Crossing page too.
I was supposed to add my Style Boutique pictures too,
But that's when I got distracted.
Ah I must sleep..

Today was quite mundane.
..I can't remember what else I did.
My brain is turning off.
But I'm still bothered by my site.

OK I've just done more work whilst writing this.
Going to bed for real now.

Sunday 21st April, 2019

Dear Diary...Happy Easter Sunday
I'm nibbling my chocolate bunny.
I haven't had chocolate in a long time so it's nice.
I really love white chocolate.

I enjoyed Bunny Day in Animal Crossing.
I collected all the Egg furniture as it's so cute.
I decided to put it in the museum.

The weather was nice again and I lazed around all day.
I talked to J on the phone today.
I love this feeling of getting closer to somebody.

I can't believe it's almost May.
And then soon my birthday.
And then summer..

I feel like my weight is stagnant.
But I'm having diffulty pushing myself.
I feel like I should push myself a lot more.
But I don't know.
It's not like my mind has wavered or anything.
I think I'm still being diligent.
I guess I am just expecting things to move along faster.

Usakumya got a wash today.
I've been waiting for warm weather to let him dry outside.
I think I will take him along to International Lolita Day.

I'm not in the mindset to think about seeing people though.
I like seeing my friends
But sometimes it feels suffocating to go outside.
If that makes sense.
As extreme as it sounds I wondered if I have agoraphobia.
I am forcing myself to go back to uni this year.
It's been two years of break (aka avoidance).
I just have to try to be prepared.
I have to be more serious.

But I don't want to think about that just yet.
There's still time.

I think I will read tonight.
I think I will re-read Emma.

Friday 19th April, 2019

Dear Diary...today was nice.
It was a warm day.
Netflix added Bridget Jones's Diary again.
I've watched that movie way too many times.
But it was really relaxing.
To feel the breeze coming through the window.
I slept so badly last night. But I forgot about everything.
Spring really is good.

Thursday 18th April, 2019

Dear Diary...wow it's later than I thought.
I am going to watch Our Planet after this.
I started watching it while dozing off yesterday.
It's interesting, as usual.
Of course David Attenborough's shows are the best.

I added a few things to my site today.
I got a bit frustrated with my gallery.
So I updated my about me page.
I do need to add more q&a though.
Actually, the first page I look at when I go to someone's website
Is their diary rather than their profile haha
I guess I'm nosy..
But it's interesting to read people's thoughts.

I did another public work project in my AC town today.
The lamp, and the placement is quite cute.
Maybe I can make a nice town.
I am thinking what to do to my house next.
Expand or add a room?
You see, I'm wanting Gracie furniture in most of my rooms.
And I'm a long way away from getting my shop upgraded.
So maybe there's no point adding another room.
I can expand the basement.
It's series-less, but it's the kitchen!
I was worried if it would count for anything.
But when Gabi came over she recognised it as a kitchen, so I'm glad.

Anyways, looking at html makes my brain explode.
So that's all for today.

Wednesday 17th April, 2019

Dear Diary...good evening.
It's been a little while.
I feel like the days are going by so quickly.

I recently passed my first month of dieting.
It's only been a month, but I'm surprised I kept it up.
I usually fail on the second day then give up until next time.
But not this time, I'm really pumped!
But why is tasty stuff so full of calories...
Oh but I will have some chocolate for Easter though.
And I asked my mum to bring back Hot Cheetos from her trip because they are so so good.

My character in Animal Crossing is fully tanned now.
And I will have the coffee place tomorrow.
And I got my silver watering can today.
I have so many flowers now, I don't know what to do with them.
My town is so bleh compared to other peoples.
I care more about my house I think.
I like the regal and lovely set the most.
They've been my favourites since Wild World.
I suppose that's the sort of furniture I want in real life lol.

Cooking Mama Sweet Shop is on sale on the e-store..
I can't afford any more games
But Cooking Mama is fun...

I haven't added anything to my site for a few days.
I didn't know what to do next.
I forgot I have so much to do lol.
Maybe pictures.
But I can't really lay them out prettily.
Oh well, I will do something tomorrow.

I want to watch Our Planet.
I saw a bit of it on Gogglebox and it was really emotional.
So I just keep on putting it off.

Saturday 13th April, 2019

Dear Diary...today was an ordinary Saturday.
I watched a few epsidoes of Black Summer today.
It's okay but I'm not really interested in zombies. So I guess I might watch it if I'm ever that bored.
Speaking of watching things, I forgot to watch Gogglebox yesterday.
If you haven't heard of it, it's basically watching people watch telly.
I guess it kind of has the same appeal as reaction videos on Youtube.
Sometimes something will be on and I'll think I hope that's on Gogglebox this week.
Plus it shows things I don't watch and introduces a lot of dramas to me.
I should catch up after writing this.

It rained a bit today and it was really nice.
I like rainy weather. So I suppose England's a good place to live lol.
Rain is so calming to me.
I love walking in the rain.
I love waking up to the sound of rain.
I love watching rain fall.

It looks like the weather will start to pick up a bit from next week.
21 degrees on Friday, huh.
I predict a heatwave this year, again.
God, I hope not. Last year was hell.
Wearing lolita was not an option at all.
And air conditioning is not a common feature in British homes.
But, you haven't truly felt hell til you've used the tube in extreme hot weather.

Oh, did you notice that graphic I added?
It's cute. I found a whole folder of them on my laptop oops.
Why do I collect this stuff?
But at least I have a use for them now.
I will upload all them to my page soon.
I want them to be organised though, not just dump them.

Oh and I added some coord pictures and a few selfies to my gallery.
It feels a bit silly, so I won't be visiting there much.
And I fixed my links, now every url is in small letters.
Because for some reason I thought having some words in capitals would be a good idea.
It's just habit to create things with a capital I guess. But if you type it without caps the link breaks.
The more you know.
I thought better now than never, before I create 100 pages.

Anyways today was so long! I'm sorry.
I'm still thinking about what to do about this page.
Having everything on one page will become tedious for everyone, surely.
But I don't know how to make something fancy.
Like the ones that scroll in a little box and can go to the next page and whatnot.
Well, maybe it's fine like this for now.
I spent so much time writing today
Maybe I wont stay up late.

Friday 12th April, 2019

Dear Diary...so tired...
I'm sorry I start basically all my entries like that.
I'll be off to bed after writing this. Even though I wanted to watch that new thing "Black Summer" on Netflix...
Maybe one episode...

Today I learnt some coding stuff.
I didn't know that you didn't have to write code to format each line.
Well I'm embarrassed to admit that. But I'm glad I know. Now it won't take forever to write.

I feel like this site is going to have infinite pages.
Like, I'm not even a half done yet.
I added stuff about 2000s music. It looks like the other universe of this site.
But it's fun. And I like that kind of stuff, so that's why it's on this site.

I added my wardrobe too. I want to add all my own pictures but they probably won't come out well.
I have so many pictures to add everywhere on this site.
Anyways enough about this site. My head's beginning to hurt.

I think my character on Animal Crossing is getting darker now
It's been 84 years.
Oh KK Slider is in tomorrow.
Oh and the fishing tourney.
I caught an oarfish the other day so I guess I'm just going to use that.
What shall I request from KK?
Maybe KK House.
I will listen to KK Moody again because the live version is superior.
Since I haven't played Animal Crossing in years I forgot how the credits play during the song, and seeing it took me back.

I actually did find my Wild World cartridge. And my brothers DS survived (mine somehow broke in half), so I took a visit to my town.
It was called Cooltown (very creative I know).
I forgot how small it is without the city.

I wonder if I will become nostalgic for this moment too.
I wonder if I'll look back fondly of this time.
I dunno. Now I'm thinking too much.

Wednesday 10th April, 2019

Dear Diary...technically it's Thursday now but oh well.

Time flies when you're making a website.

I added more lyrics today.

It's hard to decide which lyrics to post. Sometimes I feel embarrassed.

But alas, I even want to add my favourite lyrics that aren't mine too.

So much to do.

I added a Lolita Tags Guide too in my EGL Writings. I suppose this only relevant if you wear Lolita though...

But still it took ages! I already had this on a word document, but transferring to the website took ages.

How have I managed to keep my sanity through all this?

I wanted to look at other people's sites more today but now it's too late.

I love Neocities, though. I love seeing what other people do.

I want to make a beautiful site too.

I did not get time to go fishing in Animal Crossing today.

Finally Shampoodle opened but I fluffed the hair colour, so I naughtily time travelled to tomorrow and back to fix it.

Time travelling is weird. I feel like I'm confusing my villagers.

I shall make a page for my Animal Crossing some day too.

My cat seems to be quite well these days.

Long story short, she ate some cat food that disagrees with her (that was meant for the stray) and she was very sick.

She didn't eat for 3 days and had sad eyes all day.

But she's eating again in small portions and drinking lots of water.

She's like me. When I'm sick I'm in bed like a corpse for up to a week.

Anyways I'm rambling again.

I added a way to see diary entries by date now.

Somehow it works, so I'm glad.

I ought to add a way to go back to the top then.

If I figure it out, tomorrow.


Tuesday 9th April, 2019

Dear Diary...It's been a while!

I'm sorry. As the procrastinator that I am, I haven't updated my site for a week.

I'm surprised I remember how to write code...

I've been trying to work on my health and fitness lately.

Trying to devise a master plan to end my insomnia.

I've been continuosly having a hard time...

I've tried classic music, counting sheep, soothing sounds, ASMR.

But why is it so hard to sleep?

Besides, even if I do fall asleep, I end up waking in the night without fail.

I've given up on listening to things with my airpods at night as the low battery sound tends to jolt me awake.

Last night I did fall gracefully to a lo-fi music stream though.

Actually, I used to listen to that a lot when I was studying and it helped me relax.

So tonight I'll also listen to it.

These days I'm playing Animal Crossing a lot.

I played Wild Word religiously as a child but never got into New Leaf.

I had bought it a few years back when I gifted my brother a 2DS for when I could borrow it.

But mysteriously I lost the cartridge.

So I got myself a 3DS last year and decide to buy New Leaf again.

In fact I bought it twice (once again at the start of this year) because I was going to sell my 3DS as I felt I grew out of games..

But I'm really enjoying it now. I started it in January then abandoned it until last month lol.

So I'm still new to it.

Of course it's not the same though.

When I was younger I visited lots of towns and liked interacting with people.

Not so much as an adult..

Anyways, I know I'm like 5 years late and Animal Crossing for Switch will be out this year.

But I don't forsee myself being able to forward a Switch by the time it comes out.

As usual I will be behind.

I'm starting to upload some lyrics in the coming updates.

Lyrics are fun but it's kind of hard to describe how it's meant to sound...if you know what I mean

Without music, they're just, words.

But one day it won't be like that.


Saturday 30th March, 2019

Dear Diary...I'm sleepy!

For the past couple of nights sleeping has been pretty hard, and I've been tired throughout the day

So I've been pretty lethargic. But hopefully I should snap out of it...

Tomorrow is Mother's Day in the UK, so I should go and get something...

But I don't know exactly what...

Chocolate is the easy choice but that would foil my mum's (and my) diet!

So I guess flowers.

So I need to rest enough to have the motivation to go out

Part of not wanting to go out, is me wanting to save money.

I am sad and unemployed! It's so hard to find a part time job though.

Am I just picky?

I don't believe in working somewhere I don't like or care about.

If I passion for something, then I'd definitely enjoy it more

Although working is perpetually boring...

I hope all goes well in the future

It's almost April too


I do tend to get more down in the winter, so hopefully I cheer up

I will try to update my website at some point


Thursday 28th March, 2019

Dear Diary...today was same as usual. I'm pretty worn out from lack of sleep.

I will go to sleep earlier tonight, so I won't add more to my site.

I added my about me page now, if you haven't seen.

There's a lot more to add. I was going to add lyrics today but I'm too tired.

I got an unexpected call today.

It's always nice, but, sometimes things can go awry..

Now, this is about my 'boyfriend'.

Well, I don't know what to call this situation.

Long distance...

It's been over 2 years, but I suppose things didn't really pick up until last year.

Even if I try to be more detailed, the story is long-winded and confusing.

But for today anyways, things didn't go so smoothly.

Actually I think we both got annoyed.

I hate arguing...it's rare but it sucks.

It's not like we can see each other face to face the next day and make up.

I'm sure all will be forgetten by the next call.

As long as I get over it.

So I'm kind of in a mood about that.

But being in a mood makes me want to improve too.

Like, I gotta be pro-active.

If I mope around I'll feel sadder.

So as long as I feel less lethargic tomorrow, I will do something.

I suppose in due time you'll learn more about us.

You'll just kind of have to keep up a little


Wednesday 27th March, 2019

Dear Diary...Welcome to my diary! I hope this will be the first entry of many. Although I feel that I don't have much to talk about...

I haven't yet introduced myself. Or updated any information about myself. But perhaps I will stay up late and do that later...

I've been obsessed with playing around with this website. It's my first time making a website...as you can maybe see. It's very basic.

But I can't seem to wrap my head around html past the basics..I guess I'm only a beginner. But I'm trying to make the site beautiful.

It's actually a lot harder than I thought to make my ideas realistic.

I thought making a website would involve copy-and-pasting a lot of code and just seeing it appear automatically.

Isn't that how things are nowadays? But this geocities, or neocities, rather, sort of thing is old school.

But that's the charm of it, isn't it? That's why we all make these websites.

As you can probably tell I'm not exactly of the generation that grew up making websites on geocities.

Although I certainly remember those types of websites, I never knew about making them.

So, that's why I wanted to make one now. And it's my own, I like that.

I'm looking through other sites too, I hope to learn a lot about coding...

So, other than that, what can I say?

I really look forward to keeping a new diary. Although an online diary is uncharted territory for me.

My cringiest moments of course are all in writing, no where for people to see.

But online is different.

Even making this site, I have to decide how much I want to put out there, even if not many people click my site.

I'm sure a little down the line and I'll be pouring my heart out about something here, though.

I love writing, and I could go on and on.

I'm a listener rather than a speaker, so I keep a lot to myself.

Writing is a good outlet for me. So I've kept diary after diary.

Well I hope things do not get too cringy...

Speaking of code, I wish I knew a way to make a real diary. I'm sure I'll have to manually add pages and such.

But it'd be nice if there were some sort of widget.

Anyways I should try to not write so much as to take up the page.

We'll see how it turns out, anyway.

Italics or no italics? I can't tell which is best...

Italics are for sure prettier, but it can be quite tiring to read too...

Well anyways, I might go and edit this site more now, so I'll stop my rambling

Tomorrow I can write more about myself